Posts Tagged 'English'



The Office Christmas Party: Don’t Dread It – Use it! (Part 1)

200174759-001Fact: 85% of the reason for success in business is people skills, leaving only 15% riding on your business degree and years of experience. Using the office holiday party to showcase your people skills could be a better career move than that brilliant business plan you submitted last month.

Go! Although disguised as a social event, the office party is as much part of your job responsibilities as attending any other meeting called by your boss. Make no mistake: this is business, not pleasure. In the absence of a well-established and unavoidable previous engagement, consider attendance as mandatory.

Dress appropriately This is a business event; keep the business in your choice of what to wear. Dress at the upper end of what you consider business formal.  Easier for men who can wear a blue suit and either a conservative or festive tie. Women, keep it smart—not sexy.  No cleavage means no gossip behind your back or leering looks at work. Review with your spouse or guest what they will be wearing, also. It will reflect on YOU if your wife wears a revealing dress, or your husband’s idea of dressing up is wearing clean jeans.

There is no holiday magic behind the following key social skills that successful people use year ‘round, not just at the office party:

Greet your host when you arrive (by the way, “host” is a gender-neutral term). It is not acceptable to simply head for the bar and buffet and hope to catch up with your host later in the evening.  A well-organised party of over 50 guests should include a receiving line making it easy for the host to greet everyone on arrival.

Shake hands and remember that this is the only acceptable touching allowed at a business function. Avoid determined kissers by locking your elbow when shaking hands to enforce the distance. Handshakes are accompanied by direct eye contact (don’t be looking over their shoulder to see who else is there) and often include an introduction.

Introduce yourself and others When introducing yourself, use your first and last name; never call yourself “Mr. Wales” or “Mrs. Dixon” unless you are introducing yourself to a child. In a business environment, junior (or less important) people are introduced to senior (or more important) people. Don’t delude yourself that there is no ranking simply because it is a party. Introduce people by name, not by their position or relationship to you although you may usually explain the relationship. For example: “Ms Boss, may I introduce Julius Brown, my husband.” (It is up to your boss whether she will ask your husband to call her by her first name.)

Next week: the art of mingling and polite conversation, how to enjoy the hospitality in moderation, and the all-important thank you letter!

 

John Robertson
Tutor, The English Manner

Denim for Dinner?!

true_religion_jeansRecently I had a sojourn to the Lake District with my family and we stayed in the same small, hotel we have stayed in for the last twelve years when we visit our relatives in the north of the region. One of my favourite things about this hotel is the excellent food they never fail to serve.

On our first night at dinner, I was shocked – no, mortified – to discover that fifteen out of the nineteen diners were wearing jeans. Jeans! Denim! I should at this juncture state that the restaurant itself is quite formal (it’s not a Harvester). Only at this point did I realise that my brother was also wearing jeans (smart jeans – not ones with rips and holes in, but jeans nonetheless). My family quickly told me to calm down and stop being such a stick in the mud.

But this is why I was shocked: when we first stayed at said hotel, the gentlemen wore jackets and ties, whilst the women wore dresses. You were looked upon in horror if you wore jeans (or dared not wear a jacket – although no rule was enforced). Now, ten years later, there has transparently been a seismic shift in standards. I should state here and now that I rolled up on the first night (going by previous experiences) with a jacket, tie and corduroy trousers. People looked at me. They stared.

When sitting in the hotel lounge afterwards I heard a young-ish girl refer to me to her father as ‘that odd boy with the tie’. Well. That’s the thanks one gets for upholding standards.

Society does change, I accept that, but what shocked me is the speed in which, in this particular instance, it has done so. My fear is that we as a nation are too lazy to make the effort for anything anymore. The chef has made an effort to produce top-notch food, so why should we be so arrogant as to wear the same clothes we were wearing all day to eat it?

Moan over. But for the record, for the next two nights we were there, I made sure I wore a jacket, tie and smart trousers. And if I had had my dinner jacket to hand, I’d have worn that: just to make my point.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner

Sticking to Your Guns: Shooting Etiquette Faux Pas

shootingOctober sees the pheasant, woodcock and capercaillie shooting season begin and so listed below are The English Manner’s top etiquette blunders to avoid at all cost when out in the fields.

-       Never attend a shoot if you have never held a gun or had adequate training. Being dangerous is considered frightfully rude

-       Pick up all spent cartridges at the end of drives. This used not to matter but now in the environmentally-friendly society we live in, it is considered bad form not to

-       Make sure you mark your quarry for pickers-up and their dogs: never leave a dead bird to rot

-       Always ask what one is allowed to shoot before commencing. Hosts will have different rules from each drive to the next

-       The polite guns never boast about their scores

-       In the unfortunate circumstance that one shoots something that one is not supposed to, or that you cause a fellow gun an injury, it is expect that you leave the party immediately. Other guns are expected to be discreet about the incident, too. NB: If a major accident occurs, unwritten rules of etiquette dictate that the guilty gun never shoots again

-       Restrain yourself: a shoot is not the place for loud, bawdy behaviour

-       Under no circumstances should one shoot a white pheasant

-       Never swing your gun along the shooting line or in the direction of other guns

-       Make sure each bird shot is dead before proceeding onto the next one. It is better to use both barrels on one bird than two barrels on two birds (with the first barrel not yet fully killed).

-       Do also remember to tip the keeper. Anything from £15 upwards is usual; more if he has cleaned your gun.

Unsure about the terminology used in this blog? Next week: a beginner’s guide to shooting terms.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner

Swearing: Think of Our Language!

Three in ten of us are subjected to swearing every five minutes, according to a recent report. When I was asked to comment on this for BBC Radio 5 Live the other day, my initial thoughts (apart from how bad this is) were for the English language itself. We have such a rich, vibrant and beautiful language and to limit it to a handful of words is such a pity.

People use the F-word and the like now as nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, pronouns and prepositions. We hear swearing on the television, in the cinema and on the street. These taboo words are not only unnecessary but also horrid for the ear: they have no mellifluous quality that some words do: none of us want to hear those abrasive sounds. Perhaps then they are well suited to their purpose.

But swearing all the time devalues it. There is (sometimes) a time and a place for the occasional swear word (although using a curse-word to describe someone is never acceptable). If someone who never swears does occasionally exclaim something a bit off-colour, then those around will know that the person is truly annoyed and angry But if we go about swearing left-right-and-centre, willy-nilly, then we automatically take away the gravitas and oomph that any invectives may have.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner

The Modern Student

A teacher at my old school once remarked to me in a conversation about higher education, “University is a reward for the intellectual, where one can do as one pleases and do very little work for a period of three years”. However true or false this may be, it seems that many contemporary students have misinterpreted this concept. It is certainly not a rest or lapse period for decency and basic courtesy.

Student life is something that most of us have looked forward to from our early teens: we break away from our parents and begin to become our own person. We become domesticated, we become mature; we become adults. Alas, it isn’t quite as straight forward as that. The average student dresses in baggy, comfortable clothes, goes out drinking at least five times a week, and probably comes close to (or actually partakes) in dealing in substances of disrepute. We are only young once, however, so perhaps such behaviour is acceptable.

Yet, just because we are students, it doesn’t mean to say that we actually have to behave like them. Nevertheless, this is not a call for us to attend lectures in morning suits and address our peers with high reverence and grandiose language. A modern, savvy student is someone who respects and considers those around him. Many adults get cross with students and their lifestyle – perhaps they are jealous – they argue that they are slovenly and uncouth. Maybe they are right: there are times when one really doesn’t want to be formal or worry too much about what others think.

However, I argue that University is a journey, a bridge. It marks a transition between childhood and adulthood. There used to be no word for the inter-regnum, until someone created the concept of a ‘student’. A majority of students subconsciously believe that we become adults the moment we graduate, and this grants us with an excuse to behave as we wish for the three or four years in between. This is not the case. We become adults during the period of our enrolment. Some will grasp the (really quite straight forward) concepts of adulthood sooner than others.

As I say regularly, good manners are a skill for life, which will stand anyone in much better stead than any degree or qualification. Clarence Thomas said, “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot”. Think what you could do with both.

NB: Educated people go to ‘University’. The rest go to ‘Uni’.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner



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