Posts Tagged 'dress'

The Etiquette of Valentine’s Day

Getting Valentine’s day right isn’t hard – it just takes a little bit of forethought and planning to ensure that the 14th February is a properly romantic affair rather than a tacky experiment.

Rules for Men

Red rosesGood old-fashioned chivalry may well be becoming a thing of the past, and some would argue it’s long dead and buried, but its survival has not been helped by feminism – which has caught men between a rock and a hard place over how they should treat the opposite sex. Yet, men are also to blame somewhat for letting it become so much of a tightrope.

It’s fair to say that even though there are some women who would recoil if a gentleman held a door open for her, in 2011, a lot of ladies have realized that they actually do like a bit of chivalry, even if they won’t necessarily admit it out-loud.

So if you are in the market for a bit of courtly love, here are the basics!

- Have an umbrella handy so you can shield your date from the rain, if needs be

- Hold doors open for women and let them go through first. (There is an etiquette for revolving doors, which, I think is a little long-winded: the man enters the revolving door first, pushes it round for the woman but emerges after her, thus going round twice!)

- Offer your coat if it gets cold

- The gentleman always pays the bill on the first date

That’ll be the dahlia

Giving flowers can be something of a minefield. People have definite opinions about flowers – some hate chrysanthemums, others think carnations are cheap. Whichever bloom you choose, it’s probably best to find out before which flowers your loved one actually likes, and stick to that.

When buying flowers, do remember the following.

- Make sure your chose a good florist – ideally once you choose your florist you should stay with them as this will ensure a relationship is built up and they will learn what suits you best

- The cost of the bouquet will vary on how generous you feel and how deeply you are in love. £40 is the average a typical man would spend on flowers for Valentine’s Day, but remember that a beautiful hand-tired posy may mean just as much as a grand, no-expense-spared display

- If your lover is at work, it would be thoughtful to send them to her place of work – others will spy her carrying the bunch and she’ll get the chance to show off how much she’s loved by her admirer

- If you sent flowers last year, make sure you match your previous gift this year – if the bunch looks cheaper than last time then brace yourself for a bumpy ride

- For all things floral, The English Manner suggests Pulbrook and Gould in central London, or Judith Blacklock Flower Designs.  For those out of town, take a look at John Lewis and M&S – always great value and innovative designs.

Suits You

No one wants to be courted by someone with bad breath or dirty nails – your image and persona is vital for success. You don’t have to be dressed from top to toe in Savile Row, but cleanliness and style will pay dividends. When dressing yourself, remember there are sartorial rules for a reason. Break them at your peril!

Food of Love

Going out for a romantic meal for two, however unimaginative, is also a good step. There are plenty of excellent restaurants but eating out will mean that you share your special moments with the other diners.

It’s worth remembering that 14th February is one of the busiest nights of the year for the restaurant trade; make sure you get a good table by booking in advance at a restaurant she likes and be prepared for two sittings and indifferent service.

However delicious food in a high-class restaurant may be, nothing will impress your date more than a home-cooked meal. It speaks volumes if you can cook and take the time to make something special.

Rules for Ladies

The most important thing to remember is that men are different from women. Give men some space so they can reflect on what a catch you are. Relationships where you spend every second together don’t tend to last. In general, men may be more laid back whilst the girls have a tendency to worry. Celebrate the differences rather then fretting over them.

Remember to keep in mind what your dress says about your intentions – people can dress to reflection their mood subconsciously (i.e. – a black low-cut neck means you’re interested; a black nun’s habit means anything but!).

If your partner starts to flirt with another woman – let him! You’ll look better for not reacting to it and he’ll probably realize you’re more attractive. A lot of men (and women) like to hear compliments about themselves; it makes us feel good.

If your partner does over-step the mark with another lady then don’t make a scene in public. Arguing about anything for all to see is the height of bad form. Have your argument behind closed doors – don’t ruin other people’s night.

Dress to Impress

When going out with your partner, whether it be to an event or just out-and-about, try to co-ordinate what you’re wearing. The earring rule is generally short earrings during the day, and longer at night.

One final point to remember is that the man’s dress should never out-shine the woman’s.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner

Business Dress on The Junior Apprentice

Last night we had the third installment of The Junior Apprentice, the spin off of Lord Sugar’s The Apprentice. The programme is identical to the main show except that the candidates are ages 16 or 17 and are competing not for a job with the business tycoon but for a business bursary. A lot of the hopefuls have had experience running their own businesses or being involved in some way with the art of making money.

Jordan - he of the shiny suit

However, I have been continually taken aback at the poor standards of dress that most of the candidates have. The first person to get fired was a boy called Jordan. He wore possibly the shiniest suit imaginable. Such suits only look good on Saturday night television and if your name is Graham Norton – for some reason, Graham seems to be the only person able to get away with such an outfit. However, Jordan’s suit was a business/lounge suit and this made it look very cheap indeed.

But for this blog I shall focus on the third episode of the series.

Zoë

There was one shot in the programme that showed Zoë, who clearly takes pride in her appearance (if a little too much), writing. As it was a close-up of her hand with a pen we could see her nails clearly. She was wearing nail polish but it had chipped and cracked and so it looked messy. If nail polish is going to be worn (whether in a business or social environment) then make sure it looks good and is perfect at all times. Regarding make-up, Zoë has a tendency to wear a bit too much (especially for a 16-year-old). She has pale skin and wears striking red lipstick, which set against her blonde hair does cause people to take note of her. In a throw-back to the 1980s, Zoë is clearly a big one for power-dressing, but more-often-than-not she just looks like she’s about to serve us drinks and tell us how to put on our life-vests.

Rhys

Last night’s fired hopeful was Rhys. From episode one he was wearing shirts with collars that were far too big for him, and probably would have been too big for Pavarotti. Although many people complain that they feel restricted when wearing a collar and tie, if you are measured properly by any half-decent men’s outfitters for shirts then this will never be a problem. Rhys also committed the crime of colour-on-colour (in the case of episode 3, black-on-black). He wore a black shirt and a black tie. Never do this! Black shirts look awful full stop; black ties should be reserved for funerals – but really one should never wear the same coloured shirt as the tie (i.e. a plain pink tie would look silly when against a pink shirt).

Tim

There are so many things that annoy me about this candidate’s dress. He has clearly never heard of a razor. Beards are fine, however, Tim’s facial hair is not quite a beard. I would suggest that business people are clean-shaven (unless they are opting for a proper beard). Designer stubble (as he had yesterday – he had given his facial hair a minor trim) is not suitable for the boardroom. Tim also seems not to have heard of a top-button. He is an advocate of the loose-tie-open-top-button look, which, again, should not be found in business. It looks sloppy and lazy (although some may say this is a reflection of the boy’s attitude to business). Last night we saw a close up (for some reason) of Tim’s shoes and socks. He had chosen to wear a pair of green striped socks. You may expect me to slate this choice, but I actually condone it. I am a big fan of colourful socks and I feel that if done tastefully, a man can say a lot his personality through his socks: they give one a chance to show a bit of personality. That said, I have seen all too often people wearing white socks with business suits, which is something that just isn’t done. Socks (if plain and traditional) should match the colour of the shoe or of the trouser.

Adam

Finally, a word about Adam, who also left Lord Sugar’s boardroom last night. His tie was dreadful. The knot was too big, but also too loose. He was trying to go for the big footballer knot, but even so, it should have been tighter. Being able to tie a good tie is a life skill that sadly many are lacking. He also needed to make sure the tie was pulled up to the very top of the shirt. As you can just about see from his publicity picture, you could drive a bus between the top of the tie and the top button of his shirt.

The English Manner offers training in business protocol, which includes dress & appearance. To find out more, please contact us.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner

Royal Ascot: Dress & Wardrobe

2010 Royal Ascot is just under a month away. Last year, our post on Ascot proved very popular, gaining the most reads out of all of our entries. This is probably because Ascot is a melting pot and people from all different walks of life can be found here.

Next week we will talk about how to picnic in style at Royal Ascot. This week, we recap on what should and should not be worn when at the races.

Alexandra Messervy, Founder, The English Manner: “Morning suits and top hats are de-rigeur, as of course are the most fabulous hats.  Trousers for ladies are now permitted, but skirts must not be far above the knee, and if you are hoping to enter the Royal Enclosure you will need to apply for a sponsored badge many months in advance, with a reference from a member of the Royal Enclosure.  Top hats should always be black silk, and morning suits can be grey or black – my own preference is grey.  Ladies’ Day is the traditional one to ‘be seen’, when even the more conservative hat-wearer can really push the boat out.  A word of caution though:  if you are not used to wearing a hat, practice putting it on and off and wearing it around the house several times before the big day, and learn to relax – otherwise you will have severe neck strain and a bad headache before you go near the champagne!

William Hanson, Tutor, The English Manner: “In 2008 Royal Ascot was in the news as ladies were turning with too much fake-tan applied and in some extreme cases, they deemed it appropriate to go without knickers. This is never acceptable. Anywhere. For women, it is advisable that cocktail dresses are avoided. Having too much flesh open to the elements at a predominantly outdoor event will only cause goose pimples.  Dress colours that work well are pastels, bright colours, neutrals such as cream and fawn, although fashion changes and each year will see a different colour or shade in vogue. As for materials, linen creases easily and for an event where you may be sitting to picnic (smart race-goers do this in Number One car park), this is not a good idea. Lightweight wool and silk are preferable. Dresses and jackets that can be removed easily if you get too hot are canny choices. Skirts that ride up when you sit down are not, however. The Queen often wears one main colour all the way up (including the hat) which accentuates height and can make shorter people look taller. Umbrellas may be a nuisance but are worth it if it begins to rain. They can be left in the cloakroom if needs be: parasols are naff.”

For further advice on Royal Ascot, please see last year’s (very popular) entry, or feel free to contact us.

UK Leaders’ Debate No. 3: The Last Word

The last of the three UK leaders’ debates was always going to be about policy rather than performance. Both the politicians and the audience had got used to the format of these new debates and so, thankfully, we could all look past the smoke and mirrors and focus on what the parties were offering.

That said, the chairman of IPOS Mori said yesterday that a large majority of people do make their mind up as to whom to vote for based on style rather than substance: a reflection perhaps on the shallow times in which we now live.

So on that basis, here is my take on the performance and protocol from the final UK leaders’ debate.

The first gentleman we see is the chairman, David Dimbleby, who handled the proceedings much better than Messers Boulton and Stewart. However, Dimbleby had his jacket fastened incorrectly and it may be appropriate to just recap the rules when it comes to suit jacket buttons. If it is a three-button suit, just the middle button; if it is a two-button suit, just the top.

If the ties were competing last night, David Cameron’s would have won. It was a block colour (a strong blue – probably a conscious metaphor on his part) and worked well when set against the lurid pink and orange backdrop. A bold and strong colour always works best – power dressing: slightly retro, but in this case it worked. Nick Clegg’s orange number wasn’t working for me (although he had the better knot of the three leaders). In my opinion, orange and green ties never work. Gordon Brown’s tie was a muted purple with fine dots, and this would have been okay for day-to-day business but for such an important event, I did think that he (and Clegg) could have found about a thousand better ties to wear.

When the debate started, Clegg called his opponents by their full name ‘David Cameron and Gordon Brown’, there was no faux-chumminess here, like there was in the first debate. Nick Clegg probably used this tactic to separate himself from the others.

David Cameron was the first person to use an audience member’s Christian name, and it became obvious that he was emulating the tactic used by his Liberal rival from the first debate of looking directly into camera to address the audience at home, rather than in the chamber. Clegg did the same thing too, but used his hands much more, moving them towards the camera, drawing us into his way of thinking.

Language-wise, Gordon Brown used much more ministerial language, rather than the other two who went for more down-to-earth speech. Brown often used imperatives, such as ‘let’s be clear’, before addressing a point. This is something similar to what Tony Blair did during his premiership: he was very fond of saying ‘look’ before he addressed a question – but in the latter’s case it was often seen as patronising the audience or questioner.

Linguistically, Clegg used a trick of providing a layman’s explanation of some of the more complicated economic jargon. He told us “capital gains – that’s income to you and me”, this puts him on the level of the audience, a very clever tactic.

Where I felt he did slip us was his determination to address the camera. He would switch a bit too quickly from replying to the questioner from the audience to looking down the camera to the home audience. He did this a lot and it began to look phoney. Clegg also fell down during the economic part of the debate – he started to get a bit hot under the collar and this showed on his face.

Cameron used a minor expletive (‘damn’) to express one particular point; this did add emphasis. What a lot of people were saying on Twitter last night was that there were too many anecdotes from the leaders (Cameron and Clegg in particular) that started, “I recently visited a… ”.

So far in these blogs we haven’t referred to each of the leaders’ makeup. Particularly in the first debate, lots of people commented that Cameron was wearing lovely make-up, and it must be said, he did look the best out of the three of them. I don’t think Brown had very much on; he probably prefers to go for the grittier, natural man sort of look. Cameron’s chin could have done with a touch more powder – it did shine more and more as the debate progressed.

Last night, Cameron clearly won: the polls agree. He also wins our prize for best improvement. Clegg clearly won the first debate – wooing everyone with his charm and naturalness (the heir to Blair is how one Twitterer described him). The second debate had no clear winner but in the final one, Cameron pulled out all of the stops both politically and performance-wise. It will be interesting to see how the three parties do on Thursday.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner

The Office Christmas Party: Don’t Dread It – Use it! (Part 1)

200174759-001Fact: 85% of the reason for success in business is people skills, leaving only 15% riding on your business degree and years of experience. Using the office holiday party to showcase your people skills could be a better career move than that brilliant business plan you submitted last month.

Go! Although disguised as a social event, the office party is as much part of your job responsibilities as attending any other meeting called by your boss. Make no mistake: this is business, not pleasure. In the absence of a well-established and unavoidable previous engagement, consider attendance as mandatory.

Dress appropriately This is a business event; keep the business in your choice of what to wear. Dress at the upper end of what you consider business formal.  Easier for men who can wear a blue suit and either a conservative or festive tie. Women, keep it smart—not sexy.  No cleavage means no gossip behind your back or leering looks at work. Review with your spouse or guest what they will be wearing, also. It will reflect on YOU if your wife wears a revealing dress, or your husband’s idea of dressing up is wearing clean jeans.

There is no holiday magic behind the following key social skills that successful people use year ‘round, not just at the office party:

Greet your host when you arrive (by the way, “host” is a gender-neutral term). It is not acceptable to simply head for the bar and buffet and hope to catch up with your host later in the evening.  A well-organised party of over 50 guests should include a receiving line making it easy for the host to greet everyone on arrival.

Shake hands and remember that this is the only acceptable touching allowed at a business function. Avoid determined kissers by locking your elbow when shaking hands to enforce the distance. Handshakes are accompanied by direct eye contact (don’t be looking over their shoulder to see who else is there) and often include an introduction.

Introduce yourself and others When introducing yourself, use your first and last name; never call yourself “Mr. Wales” or “Mrs. Dixon” unless you are introducing yourself to a child. In a business environment, junior (or less important) people are introduced to senior (or more important) people. Don’t delude yourself that there is no ranking simply because it is a party. Introduce people by name, not by their position or relationship to you although you may usually explain the relationship. For example: “Ms Boss, may I introduce Julius Brown, my husband.” (It is up to your boss whether she will ask your husband to call her by her first name.)

Next week: the art of mingling and polite conversation, how to enjoy the hospitality in moderation, and the all-important thank you letter!

 

John Robertson
Tutor, The English Manner

Cowes Week

Hyacinth: Not incorrect but perhaps not that subtle

Hyacinth: Not incorrect but perhaps not that subtle

Cowes Week is the oldest regular regatta in the world. Unlike Henley, which began in 1839, Cowes was first held in 1826. It began following the Prince Regent’s (who became George IV) interesting in yachting. The first race at Cowes was held at 0930 on 10th August. It is now the tradition that Cowes Week takes place on the Solent from the first Saturday after the last Tuesday in July, until the following Saturday.

As well as the boating element, Cowes is much loved for its social cachet. Parties and live music have become as much of a part of the week as the yachts. On the Friday, a firework display is held, with the pyrotechnics being launched from barges around the waterfront. This tradition dates back more than 150 years. People attending Cowes should be aware that this particular tradition may not happen at this year’s event due to lack of funding.

Now, what to wear? Alexandra Messervy, Founder of The English Manner, gives us the following advice: ‘Stick to looking the part in deck shoes, sunglasses, windproof gear and a chance to wear that perfect Hermes headscarf (or a good imitation from tie Rack!) – and there are plenty of wonderful wellies around if the weather is wet’.

Also – for gentlemen that wish to wear blazers please don’t have an emblem on the top-pocket. Very Non-U.

Do also remember that if you get the chance to go on board one of the yachts, it is required that you do not board until given permission. Once on deck, soft-soled shoes or no shoes at all.

The English Manner are always happy to answer any specific comments about any aspect of protocol. Please see our website for contact details, or just comment on this blog post.

William Hanson
Tutor, The English Manner


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